


Would?

by romanticalgirl



Series: Sentence Structure [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-31
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-10 15:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1161615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 9/4/99</p>
    </blockquote>





	Would?

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 9/4/99

Willow sat on the front steps of Xander's porch. She clasped her hands together to stop their shaking. She offered up a thousand small prayers that he'd come directly home.

Her stomach was a collection of knots and butterflies, swirling around in an overactive tango. Only her overwhelming fear, worry and nervousness kept the contents of her stomach where they belonged. 

* Please Xander. * She closed her eyes and rested her head on her hands. * Please*

"Hey Wills." 

Her head snapped up. "Oh!" Her lower lip trembled and she burst into tears. 

He rushed over to her and gathered her into his arms. Stroking her hair, he whispered soft words of comfort. His mind was racing. Willow didn't cry. "C'mon Wills. Come inside." 

He left his arm around her and guided her into his house. She was still sobbing against his shoulder, although the strength of them seemed to have lessened. He sat her on the couch. Sitting on the table in front of her, he held her hands tightly. "Can I get you anything?" 

She shook her head, her fiery hair whipping around. 

"Okay. I'm right here, Willow." He watched her, wishing he knew what was wrong. 

Ever since Cordelia and Oz had caught them together, they'd struggled to find some sort of relationship. Now that she and Oz were back together, it was easier for her to talk to him. But it still wasn't the same, and more than anything else in his life, he mourned the loss of their friendship. 

She looked up at him as if she could read his thoughts. "Are we still friends, Xander? Really friends? Because I need someone to talk to and you're the first person I thought of. The only person. But if we're not, I need to know." 

"You're the most important person in my life, Willow." He squeezed her hands. "Always." 

"I"

"Is this about Oz? Is everything okay between you?" 

"Sort of. No. I" She let go of his hands and nervously pushed her hair behind her ears. "I think I'm pregnant." 

Xander tried to back up while sitting down, only succeeding in tipping over the coffee table. "Okay, ow." 

She knelt beside him, concern, laughter and worry warring for expression time. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah." His eyes never left hers. "Are you sure?" 

She helped him up and they sat together on the couch. "No. But I tookI took a test. And there were lines. Or pluses. Or something." 

"II don't know how to say anything without upsetting you. Didn't youuse anything? Didn't he?" 

"Yes. We did." Her breath was shaky. "We onlythere was only one night. And we used protection. Real. Not magical." 

"How long ago?" 

"Two months." She refused to look at him, knowing he'd realize how soon after their 'discovery' at the Factory it had been. "But afterwards we decided to wait. Again. Make sure we were both really ready. And doing it for the right reason. Working out all the other stuff." 

"I admire your restraint. And I have a whole new respect for Oz." 

"I don't know what to do, Xander." 

"Have you told him?" 

"Not yet. I thought I should be sure. I thoughtI don't know what I thought." She stood up, walking over to the window. She stared out at the street. "I didn't know who else to go to, you know? I know it can't be easy for you to hear this, but all my life I've come to you for everything." 

"I'm glad you came to me." He walked up behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders. Softly, he kissed the back of her head. "How can I help you?" 

"I need to go to a doctor. A real doctor. To be sure." 

"And if you are? Will you tell Oz?" Nineteen and a father? Xander suddenly didn't envy the guitarist. 

"I should, don't you think? I mean, he can handle vampires and werewolves. Babies can't be worse, can they?" 

"What if he doesn't want it? Do you want it?" 

"II've never given it much thought. Until Oz, any sexual activity for me was" She broke off, blushing furiously. 

"It's okay, Will." 

"He was my first. My only." 

"I know." He slid his arms around her waist and let her lean against him. His Willow. Pregnant. Things like this didn't happen to her. She was the smart one. The prepared one. 

"Dodo you think less of me?" 

He barely heard her whisper. "No. No, Willow, I think you're perfect." He kissed her head again, briefly. "You're human. Around this town, that's okay." 

She tilted her head slightly, so that his face was next to hers, his chin on her shoulder. "Thank you." 

"Do you know where Oz stands on the subject?" 

"No." 

"The way I see it, you have three main options. You have it and keep it. You have it and don't. Or you don't." He took a deep breath. "Which opens up more options. If you don't, you and Oz will have to re-examine your relationship." 

At her nod, he continued. "If you have it and give it awaywell, you still have to re-examine. And you open yourself up to future worries, visits and ulcers." 

She laughed, and he knew she was crying. 

"If you have it and keep it, you do it with Oz as a couple, with Oz as your husband, without Oz but with friends, or"

She watched him bite his lip nervously. "Or?" 

"Without Oz, with me." He continued on before she could speak. "But you're going to have to make sacrifices. Like your immediate future." 

"Xander"

"I think he's a stand up guy." 

"Xander." 

He moved away from her. "So, I'll take you to the doctor, first thing tomorrow. And you can go on from there." 

She went to him and forced him to meet her eyes. "Xander. First of all, thank you for being my friend. Second, thank you for giving Oz the benefit of the doubt." 

"I realized that for you to love him, he has to be okay." 

"But most of all, just" she couldn't find the words to express her depth of emotion. Were there words? She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

"Will?" 

And kissed him. 

*****

The dam burst and wave after wave of emotion flooded them. Their embrace was tight and passionate. Desperation, loneliness and worry caused them to cling to each other, pressing ever closer. 

*****

They pulled apart at the same time, mimicking their first kiss. "That didn't just happen." 

"Yes it did." She smiled and this time it reached her eyes. "I love you Xander." 

He knew exactly what she meant. He'd know it the minute he'd seen her on his steps. Been sure the moment she'd sprung the news. Reinforced it when he realized that, at eighteen, he was willing to be a father to someone else's child. "I know. I love you too." 

"And that can't happen again." 

"No." He smiled. "At least not for a while." 

"A long while." 

They stood in comfortable silence, both grinning happily despite the weight of the situation. Finally, Xander sat down. "Have you made an appointment?" 

"Yes. At ten." 

"Are you going to wait to tell him?" 

"Yes." 

"You gonna tell Buffy? Or Giles?" 

"Not unless or until I have to." 

"They'll stick by you, no matter what." 

"I know." 

"I'll stick by you." 

Willow nodded, realizing how serious he was. Realizing he'd proven it to her time and again. "Xander, I've always known that." 

* * *


End file.
